The Book of (even more) AWESOME! part 11, 12, 13

hey peeps, here next three part: 11, 12, 13 oh yeah.

part 11: When a cop finally passes you after driving behind you for a while

cop in mirror  Cruising cops cause traffic stops.

Yes indeedy, we law-aspiring citizens immediately slow to a speed limit cruise when we spot cops silently swerving behind our bumpers. We’re the jittery school of fish with jumpy eyes and they’re the silent shark swimming over to our lane.

With our hearts drum-thumping and our white-knuckled hands gripping the wheel, we temporarily become super drivers—using our signals, leaving space, and checking our mirrors every two seconds.

We don’t know if the cop is eyeballing us, about to flick his flashers, or typing our license plate into his computer, so we’re in a heightened bug-eyed state. Seconds tick by like hours when Yourtown’s finest stick to our heels and force question through our brain: Was I speeding? Should I change lanes? Does he want me to speed up?

Everything slowly and slowly builds and builds to a bigger and bigger feeling of tension and pain . . .

. . . until he finally just zooms off into the distance, never to be heard from again.


Magnifying Glass over DictionaryPart 12: when u learn a new word and the suddenly u start seeing it everywhere

You know how it goes: something weird like coagulate, vexed, or perforated leaps in to your temporal lobe and wedges itself there tightly, grabbing a beer, putting its feet up, making itself at home.

But then soon the magazine articles are zooming the word up to your eyeballs, your college professor is dropping it in lectures, and you see it hanging strangely coagulate in the middle of a random book.

“I never knew that word before,” you think, “but now it’s following me around.”

See, the lords of language know you well. They gotta repeat things to seal in the learning. So when it happens just enjoy that personal thrill, feel the connection crackle, and smile and nod because you just got a little bit smarter and a lot more


dog-waitingPart 13: when the dog’s really excited you’re back home

Greasy forehead, sore ankles, and a dull headache cap your traffic-jammy ride home from a long day at work. Dragging yourself to the door, you picture the bland burrito you’re gonna nuke for dinner as your stomach rumbles and grumbles.

Yeah, the day got you down, the day knocked you out, but suddenly you unlock the door and your mood zooms sky-high as there’s a loving and waiting BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK!!!

Someone’s happy to see you.



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